Booklists!! and other stuff

Yay! I figured out how to put my links in a better place and edit my template for the blog. Exciting!! I'm trying to finish my book collections, a few in particular, and have added the links on the side. If you have books that might be a nice addition to my library I'm willing to pay a few bucks for them :D

Men

Okay ... I don't REALLY want to complain, but maybe vent a little frustration similar to other people that I've noticed on facebook. Why is it ... that men consider it "babysitting" when they are watching their own kids so you can go out? Why is it ... that when you say you want some time to yourself, men automatically assume that means with them and they proceed to try and get a babysitter? Why is it that after getting up 3-4 times in the night with your kids, getting up at 6 am to be with them, going to bed at midnight after the youngest finally falls asleep and you've finished your tidying .... it's always the man that wakes up at noon the next day and says "I'm so tired, I didn't sleep very well"? Why is it SO hard for them to stop picking their noses, scratching their asses and talking on the phone while watching sports to help you out with ... oh I don't know ... being married with kids? Just wondering. Call me curious I suppose.

11 rules your kids did not and will not learn in school

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a sports car until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Stolen from Jodi Steadman a friend of mine. Ain't THAT the truth!! Kids can't handle anything not going their way and it's everyone else's fault it went wrong and no one takes responsibility for anything! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Bible Study?

So. I decided to join a Bible/God study ... http://wonderfulstudy.blogspot.com/ For many reasons. I really want to live my faith, but I'm finding a lack of motivation. Blah. I know. I enjoy going to church, but the mere thought of bringing my 2 year old and my 4 month old by myself is something I don't look forward too. I enjoy going for the quiet, and what's the point of going if I will be spending my time chasing a 2 year old. I suppose even though Corey is not Catholic, but is United ... he's still a Christian and perhaps he will come with me once in a while. I am a firm believer that God is everywhere and therefore not going to church shouldn't be the end of the world (haha) Also, I think church at 9 am when you have an infant is unfair. ;) I don't know where I stand on the whole God thing, and so I hope this study/discussions will help guide me in a direction. If anyone else would like in on this, the link is posted above, just join!

Gayle is pregnant!!!

Finally I decided to post about sista Gayley. A. She doesn't update her own blog which means she sucks ;) B. I have all her pictures anyways. HAHAHA As of today Gayle is approx 19 weeks pregnant. Yay! Almost halfway there. Her first ultrasound was at ... 11 weeks I believe and she has those pics (dang it) but I will steal them and put them up here too. Her due date is January 27th 2011 and she barely has a belly. She IS finding out the sex and when she knows, we'll maybe all know.

On another note, Gayle was also in a car accident. :s. Scary! A drunk driver blew threw a yield sign hitting her driver side door. She has some back pain/neck pain as well as quite a few special bruises, but her and baby are fine otherwise. Her car ... Ravvy ... not so fine. I will post some pic's of it once I steal them as well.

Onto the fun pics!18.5 weeks pregnant
18.5 weeks pregnant

'Tis the season ... hunting season that is

Ah yes. A hunting widow is what I am. From September 1st to the middle of December my house is filled with the smell of goose, moose, elk and deer. It wouldn't be so bad if they were already cut and wrapped when they came home. But no ... it's like having to wrap your own Christmas present, and it smells WAY worse than any Christmas smell ... just sayin'. I suppose, at least, it'll fill up my freezer. (Hopefully). So tomorrow begins the long season of hunting .... thrilled. Really.

Will is 3 months old!

Okay. Seriously. How is time going by so fast? Will is a way better breastfeeder than Amelie, by this point with her I was under pressure to use a bottle, but this time ... in one ear out the other people. He sleeps most of the night from about midnight until 6-7 then feeds then back to bed until whenever Amelie is up and then if Daddy is home we sleep until 9 or 10 if we can. He doesn't roll over but he's kind of like his sister and HATES tummy time. He hates it so much he will WHINE and fuss and be incredibly adorable until you pick him up and let him stand or sit. So ... we'll see where that takes us. He can pull himself to stand using your hands if you let him and he enjoys the excersaucer even though he's too small to really fit it. A few blankets to stuff the holes works great. He still rarely cries, he hates dirty diapers, he loves camping and slept through the night AND laughed for the first time while camping. He doesn't like water too much, but loves hanging out in the carrier or sling. He is a maman's boy that's for sure. :D And now ... PICTURES!Sleeping in the Exersaucer

Not real fond of the water

Silly Kids
Happy Will!!!

Oh yeah and I have no idea how much he weighs or how long he is at 3 months old.

Frowny?

Cats and Mice

So ... I hate mice. Like ... yes they disgust me and I jump on a chair, but it's deeper than that. It's an insult to me to have mice in my house, especially running around during the middle of the day across my bed or couch. No thanks. The deal was that Corey would change the litter. So ... that was the last straw and I went to mom's house and finally picked up a cat for inside the house. Ally. She's old. Then Corey had promised his mom we would take two kittens (about 10 weeks old) so ... The Twins (AKA Nuts and Bolts) join the house. THEN we discover that Ally had kittens so mom catches the 1 that survived and Milo (4 weeks old) joins our mouse hunting team. Needless to say ... I clean the litter, Amelie always has a cat to play with, I have cat hair on my clothes .... but I haven't seen a single mouse, nor any mouse poop ... so ... I'll clean the litter, wash Amelie's *war wounds* as she learns to play nice ... and deal with a little cat hair.

Camping

Our camper with the new deck (Thanks Matante Angel and Oncle Leo)

Yay! So far it's been great. We have a seasonal Site up at Weyakwin (#67) in loop 4. I LOVE our site. It's so awesome and big. Corey parked the camper so that it gives us some privacy. Will was uber cranky the first night so we came home the next day, but then the 2nd time we went up when he was older he was super! He even slept his first night much to my chagrin ;) I of course had forgotten to pack more than 1 pair of pants and 2 shirts (the rest stayed on my bed for some reason) It's a little bit of a hike to get there and usually Amelie whines most of the way ... at least until we discovered a portable DVD player ;)Amelie making friends

Will 10 weeks old enjoying the water

Daddy and Will in Waskesiu

Amelie on the beach

Followed Daddy in the waterReading break

Will is 2 months old

I can't even believe he's two months old already. I keep scratching my head wondering how time is flying by so fast!! At 2 months old Will can smile and he's on the verge of laughing. He is very snuggly but likes to see what's going on. He likes to be around people and he loves his big sister. He's a pretty good sleeper and I just can't complain!! He isn't colicky!! (knock on wood) I'm really, truly blessed. We have a good breastfeeding relationship which I believe helps and so far I haven't had to alter my diet I can eat whatever I want ... and he is minimally discomforted. Joy! He doesn't cry much either, only when he's hungry and hasn't had his cues picked up on, or when he just wants to be with mommy. Thank you everyone who has visited and helped out and brought Will a gift. It was appreciated so much!!!Will - 3 days old
3 weeks old

Meeting Memere Bussiere - 1 week old

Happy Will - 8 weeks old

Will 4 weeks old

Will 2 weeks old

Belly time - 6 weeks

Amelie is TWO

Amelie's 2 year old check up went great! She weighed in at 32 lbs and 34 inches tall! WHOA! I was a bit worried for a half second about her weight (it's off the charts) but our doctor reassured me that she is perfectly proportioned, she's just heavy that's all. She's not fat in any way! She's also talking a mile a minute. My favorite things she says are "Go ahead ..." "Stop bugging me" and "Will'm" awwwwwwwwwww she also says "I love you" "Dodo me".

She puts herself to bed around 8h30-9h00 usually, or we remind her it's bedtime and away she goes. We thought with Will around she might want to co-sleep again, but nope ... a snuggle here and there and she goes to her own bed. Amélie ADORE being outside so we all hope the weather gets better soon!! She calls her sandbox her "garden" And loves her Tante Madison! She knows almost all her aunts and uncles by name, and her cousins even the ones she barely sees .. I'm very impressed! She wears a size 3X ... but we are now buying size 4 clothes just to be safe (I have this thing about shrinking things ....) Now for some pics!!
"eating breakfast"

Playing in her "garden"I told her it was a shirt but ....

Amélie and her birthday bike

Circumcision

I've actually mulled over this particular blog a long time. It'll probably bother a lot of people, insult others ... you know the normal Corinne type blog, but in the end I decided it was important enough to write it. I remember being told that some things are better off in a diary, but I have to tell you ... that it does no one any good if it's in a diary. This particular blog is just like that ... if I don't tell anybody ... how will you know how it affected me? Why I may be different ... and how it could affect others? If you don't like it ... then just don't read it I suppose ... I really won't know if you read it or not.

On Thursday May 20th, Will was circumcised. Even writing the word makes me sad. The night before I was already upset, so upset I cried myself to sleep. Needless to say that didn't put me in a strong emotional place to prepare me for the morning ahead. We arrived at the hospital early (as requested) got our paperwork, checked into ambulatory care and waited. I was holding up pretty good, especially since everyone was admiring our beautiful baby. One intern said he was the most perfectly shaped baby he'd seen in a long time. YAY! In order to keep from getting upset and upsetting Will before hand I walked around ... since maternity was just down the hall I would walk to the doors and back, and I even nursed him. Corey went to and from the place to pay but they weren't open.

When it was our turn we stepped into the room (I was glad I wasn't required to hand him over to anyone) and I got my glimpse of the little table thingie they use to hold the baby down. My heart began to beat faster and I could feel the tension in me. I noticed the soft straps they would use to hold his legs down and I had a flashback to my D&C ... I remembered the last thing I'd seen was the straps to hold MY legs apart so they could take out my lost baby :(. I decided to change Will's diaper and then I wrapped him in his blanket. I already felt ... like I was holding someone else's baby. The doctor came in, explained the procedure ... I think (I was staring at the little thing that would bare my son's most vulnerable parts and I couldn't think of anything) He mentioned freezing, numbness and said he would get us when it was done. Then I piped up.

Corey was staying. That was the deal we had made. Corey stays with Will at all times. The night before I really wanted to stay with Will but ... I guess I got scared. I didn't want to be there when he cried ... I knew I would lose it. I kinda laughed and said I was leaving and the nurse said she'd come get me when it was done. I walked to the OTHER side of the hospital ... and read a magazine and tried DESPERATELY to think of other things. That lasted five minutes and I came back and sat against the window watching people go in and out of the hospital. I was already numb, nervous and always checking the door to his room. I could SWEAR I heard a baby crying and I prayed it wasn't mine.

After what seemed like forever, I saw the nurse come looking for me and I actually jogged down the hall in my hurry to get my baby. I could hear her and Corey telling me he did good but all I did was rip my baby out of his daddy's hands and say that he STILL CRIED ... for nothing. I walked away without another word ... down the hall toward the exit. Corey had all the info/bags etc ... car seat ... so I just walked. Will was staring at me with wild eyes ... and I was doing everything I could to hold it together. I didn't want to cry in the hospital ... I had shed too many tears in that place already. As Corey paid for the circumcision (yes you have to pay) I gently placed Will in his car seat. I didn't wait ... I went to the car with the keys Corey gave me.

Tears were already pouring out before I got half way to the car. I wanted to run. It felt like someone was trying to suffocate me. Once we were in the car I buckled up and waited for Corey. I couldn't even look at him and I can only imagine what he was thinking at the time. I WAS angry at him ... it was something he had felt was important and although I wanted to be his partner in this decision ... at that moment I really couldn't. I didn't want to get into a fight ... and I couldn't fight at that moment either. I answered all questions with nods and shakes of the head. We picked up Amelie from Patricia's (thanks for watching her sis!) and went home. I tried to smile at Amelie but ... she's no dummy and I could see she was confused by my tears. Corey tried to reassure me ... rubbing my leg ... telling me he barely cried, only for the freezing ... I read the little pamphlet and asked Corey if he knew how to care for it ... etc ...

When we got home, I changed Will's diaper and I now know how it feels to have your heart ripped out of your chest. I was stunned and horrified at the same time. I didn't stop crying from that point ... for ... at least 24 hours. He looked mutilated and although I knew it would heal differently ... I was ashamed of myself. I didn't protect him ... I let this happen ... to what? to prevent infection? I realized then that the reason was stupid. In order to prevent ear infections should we take out our ears? It's better now than later?? What? Yes great some people need it later ... they know the pain will end and there was a real purpose to it.

For the next 24 hours, Will and I cried together. When he peed and screamed I felt like my soul was dying ... I really did. I blamed myself a lot! Worse ... Corey went to work that night, leaving me in such emotional turmoil to care for our 2 year old (who was acting up because I was so upset) and our 18 day old baby (who spent most of the time crying, whimpering and screaming at me) Will wouldn't nurse properly, biting, having a bad latch and I didn't/couldn't correct the latch. After a while ... I felt numb to everything around me. This wasn't my baby. I had a calm, quiet, happy, content baby. He nursed like a pro ... not this ... this was someone else's baby. Corey called to check up on me and I remember hanging up on him. I couldn't talk much. I was furious that he asked me how I was doing? ... REALLY? what a dumb/retarded question. That night ... Amelie fell off her moose and I yelled at her and then I burst into tears. She did nothing wrong and I knew I was going nuts. And worse ... she hugged ME And told me it was okay! That did it ... I bawled and hugged her tight!!

Finally, morning came, Corey came home and went to bed. When Will cried I made sure to walk down by the bedroom (I know ... heartless but at this point I was feeling heartless) I kept Will SO clean and made sure he was as comfortable as I could make him. Vaseline was our friend and so was water. ... and Polysporin. I wasn't sure and am still not sure ... I could have any more children for fear of having a boy and having that decision to make ... and going through ALL that again. That night before Corey went to work he got angry because I was so angry. I was so ... out of it ... he said I was blank. Well ... I was, I had to be in order to properly care for Will and Amelie. I turned down visitors, ignored phone calls, barely ate. Corey decided he wasn't leaving until I felt better ... even if it made him late for work. We talked ... and I did feel a bit better ... and I do feel better. I had spent hours googling and for a while I felt sick but I forced myself to REALLY understand the procedure and I talked to Corey a lot and talked to others and got support. I am confident now that our doctor was the BEST doctor for the circumcision and just 4 days later when the bell fell off (I guess because I am a super good maman and it healed fast) I felt even better ... and was able to breathe and even find a bit of humor to diffuse my tension.

I'm not sure where I stand on the procedure ... but I do know where I stand on the way it emotionally affects people ... even if Will isn't emotionally affected long term ... I am. And who's to say that babies aren't affected in the long run ... how on EARTH can we know ... what can we compare it to? They barely had a chance to be alive before this happened to them. If there had been no freezing ... I can't even imagine how I would have handled it. I can't even imagine how Corey would have felt either ... in fact I try not to think of it.

Will is much better now and almost back into his old groove, but he does get upset when he can't hear me and I won't let anyone but me change his diaper ... and Corey now. For those of you who chose circumcision this might have seemed like a crazy attack on you but it really isn't ... it's just how I felt about the whole thing. I won't judge you regardless of what you chose. I ask you don't judge me for having these thoughts and feelings about it.

Pictures!

Mommy and Baby Will

Daddy and Baby William

Our first family picture together

Right after birth (well ... the first appropriate picture) :P

After thoughts about the birth

When I think back about the birth I already know what I will do next time ... if we are blessed/decide to have a 3rd child. I won't be afraid to put my hand down and guide the baby's head all the way out. I will make sure my team is completely prepared for how I want to deal with my back pain ... and I will keep my baby skin to skin for a longer period of time. These are things that I can control, that no one dictated for me but that I decided at the time and have changed my mind about them.

There is no greater feeling than birthing a baby in the quiet and calm of a bedroom ... with no bright lights, no masked people ... in fact I didn't even notice the pile of equipment the midwife had brought until AFTER Will was born. There was no one grabbing my baby, shaking him, suctioning him ... there was quiet observation, reassurance and an occasional check in. I wasn't disturbed and neither was Will. In fact ... I even went for a shower a few hours later. It was extremely amazing to pee without any burning sensation. No really ... that's amazing! I'm so glad that with both my children I was able to push as I saw fit. I am truly glad that although our first choice doula couldn't be there ... a new friend I'd made (because of Lisa) was able to come and be there. And it was the first time we'd met face to face!! It was great! She was obviously well trained :)

It was nice to come home and have no visitors for a day or two and then the grandparents, then the aunts ... and now anyone who wants to visit and sit in my sauna-I mean house. I suggest every mama have a babymoon ... for as long as you need. My mom came over a couple times to help keep Amelie busy and let me rest with Will. I appreciated ALL her awesome mom power (even though my window is still falling apart after she cleaned it ... ) and I still appreciate her coming over to help out whenever I need it, stopping in to check up on me (I know that's what she's doing) Everyone has been pretty great since Will was born and I think that has greatly attributed to my not getting post partum ... well not yet ... time can only tell but I do feel a lot better about myself and my baby and my abilities. It helps that Corey was supremely awesome after Will was born as well and Amelie adjusted in a manner that is almost scary. Well ... that's all for now ... but more updates to come soon!

William's birth story

I have written the story once already and ... erased it. Most people tell a story in chronological order ... I have yet to tell a story in the order it happened. I like to tell the best parts first, then the funny parts ... then the random parts I remember.

I can tell you the best parts. The best parts ... are looking back to see if we had a son or a daughter and seeing it was a boy (would have been happy with a girl too) ... being able to turn around and immediately hold my baby against my chest. It was being able to look into his squinty eyes and watch them open up in the dim room to look at me. It was the quiet in the room (I don't actually remember if he cried ... if he did it wasn't much) It was being the very first person to touch my baby boy, reaching down to feel him and realizing I was in complete control of how fast he was going to be coming out. It was knowing exactly what to do and what position to get into to make it easier on my body.

I will try to tell you his story in order ... but I will probably skip details ... or get the order of things mixed up ... that's just the way it is. Humor is also a part of my life ... and there is laughter in everything I do.

Will's birth story starts off with a prayer actually. Two nights in a row ... I prayed to God to let me go into labor over the weekend and I told him why I would like this. I told him that I could promise to do all sorts of things for him but if I wasn't ready to actually do them it would be lies. Now whether it was because of him or my own mindset or my body that decided it was time to be in labour ... On May 2nd in the early morning ... I went into labor.

The first thing I remember is not sleeping. I maybe had ... a couple hours of sleep that night because of restless legs (I hate restless legs). At 12:38 I decided to get up and walk around. My back started hurting but I actually thought it was just a bathroom cramp (heheh) no seriously when Corey cooks you never know what to expect. I kinda tried timing cramps but they weren't really timeable so I decided they really were just bathroom cramps. By 2 o'clock I couldn't even lie down because my back hurt SO bad ... and by 3 o'clock I decided I needed to try and shower. After my shower I felt a bit better and tried to get some rest again - no dice. Corey decided to tell me I was in labor and asked if he should call my mom. I told him to get a life I would KNOW when I was in labor .... (so funny) By 4 o'clock Corey decided I was in labor despite my protests and I decided to agree. Somewhere in here Corey called our doula (who was at another birth) and our midwife. Our doula (Lisa) called a back up doula (Eileen) so that we would have someone there for us and she also called ahead to make sure the room would be ready. The midwife said she would meet us there. By this point I was rocking between contractions and definitely not eager to make the trip to the car, or to stand straight up. Leaning on the table was just peachy for me. Corey called mom at about 4:40, got me dressed and he packed the car to the best of his ability. Five minutes later he decided my mom was taking too long and said he was going to call Tanya. I actually laughed and told him to get me to the car and she would be here any minute but I was getting worried (I had no idea about how time was passing at this point ... just that I was having back pain and I was mad at it) I love back pressure so Corey would do what he had to do in between contractions and then come back to apply pressure on my spine during the contractions. We made it to the car and I climbed into the back seat. Mom got pulled up and Corey told her Amelie was in bed and ttyl.

Of course the roads sucked and all the way to Saskatoon I listened to Corey swear at the roads for being roads and saying if he was reeve ... I finally told him to shove it because he was distracting me (as you can see I wasn't a very pleasant woman in labor :P) Once we made it off the gravel roads it was pretty smooth sailing I have to admit. I was able to focus on my contractions, but it would have been nice to have another set of hands to push on my back ... I did manage however. The pain was SO intense and I was so surprised by it that I ended up throwing up in the car ... yummy ... most of it ended up in Corey's jacket. (MUAHAHAHAHA) I told him it would wash out just fine. It took Corey about 40 minutes to get to Saskatoon (maybe 45 because he stopped at a red light)

We pulled up to the Birth House in Saskatoon and I eyed the distance to the front door. Corey pulled off his sweater and told me to put it on ... apparently I was only wearing a bra and sweats at this point. We made it to the house in between contractions, up the stairs and into the birth suite. No here I'm not too sure I recall the exact order of things ... I went to the bathroom (this I did for sure) and emptied out the last of whatever was in my bowels (that is called nature's way of getting the body ready to give birth) I told Corey to fill the tub and make it hot, but he didn't make it hot because he knew better. It seemed to take forever to fill so I worked through contractions by stripping out of the sweater and complaining I was cold. Corey called the doula and asked how to get some heat on (or maybe he went and asked someone in the house) regardless he came back and turned the fireplace on. Ahhhhhhhh heat. He also told Lisa about my contractions and she figured baby was facing forward and was turning and that's why I had back pain. She suggested getting on hands and knees during contractions so I remember forcing myself into that position during each contraction. It felt good when there, just the moving to get there was painful. While he was gone he also told them we were obviously there and our gracious host told us to let 'em know if we needed anything.

Each contraction required me to breathe and use sounds like "oohhhhh, ahhh and ... uhhhhh" and hum. I hummed and made low sounds through each contraction reminding myself that the baby was moving down and everything was normal and that my cervix was opening and I was effacing and all the good things. We were there together for about 90 minutes before the midwife got there. Corey kept asking where she was, what was taking so long ... etc ... I wasn't concerned. I liked the quiet. I finally told him if he was worried he could get her paged again, but then she pulled up. Corey made a joke about her moving in she had so much equipment haha. I sank into the tub and put my back to them. I rested my head on a towel and ignored all questions and conversation. I vaguely remember her asking if she could check me and I didn't want to so I ignored it. I never had any checks for Amelie and I didn't want any this time.

To her credit, Debbie (the midwife) spoke very softly in between contractions and only if she needed to and encouraged me softly during the contractions. I kept bossing Corey around and I could tell he was getting discouraged because he couldn't figure out the right amount of pressure or where to put it and I was having a hard time telling him during contractions. I asked Debbie why she needed to do a check and she told me it would give her a good idea of how much time before she needed to call the 2nd midwife. Once Corey told her I had thrown up twice already her voice kind of indicated to me that I might be further along than I thought. When I think about it ... that wouldn't fly with me while not in labor, but in labor it flew and I was curious and I didn't want to check myself. Suddenly, I decided I wanted to get out of the tub. I knew I needed to get out, so then I began the process of convincing my body to do as I said. I got out of the tub and looked down. EWWWW Mucous plug. But I said ... oh I know what that is. Corey said ... yup and Debbie confirmed it. Corey went to fill my water bottle I believe sometime here. Luckily, Debbie was there and she did this amazing thing called a hip squeeze. OH MY GAWD. I saw heaven haha. It was so amazing - no pain all of a sudden. She also kept saying something, I can't quite remember, but I know she said my name during each breath (sound) I made and it was very soothing. I think I may have told Corey that she was way better than him at that point.

I climbed onto the bed and lie on my side for a couple contractions and Debbie did a quick and very painless check and told me I was fully effaced (shock) and 5 cm. What? I was? Holy crap! Then I lie on my side under some towels because I was getting cold again and worked on contractions. Now ... somewhere here, enter Eileen our back up doula. Corey mentioned something about a pink ball, then I heard her voice when she came into the house and I remember thinking (she sounds exactly like I thought she would) The extra set of hands was so nice. Hip squeeze and someone wiping my forehead with a cool cloth and pressure wherever I needed it. I'm not sure what time it was or how time was passing or what was going on around me, I was focusing on my contractions. I was getting frustrated because the hip squeezes weren't working in this position. Then I had to throw up and the action of throwing up broke my membranes. EWWWWWW gush of fluid all over the towels and I told them my water broke. Then ... I knew that if I stood up ... the baby would be born soon. I sighed in my head and thought ... after the next contraction ... after the next contraction ... I thought that for at least 5 contractions. I also remember telling Corey to stop talking somewhere in here ... but through the whole labor to this point and afterwards there was always someone putting pressure, wiping my brow, bringing me water or encouraging me. It was nice and very helpful. Finally I had Eileen (I think) pull me up to stand. No way I could get up on my own haha. And boom, I knew it wouldn't be long. Somehow the bed in front of me was clean again and I was asked if I wanted the ball. I stood for a while with Eileen and Corey putting pressure on my hips and back and then I sat on the ball with them switching. I gave Eileen heck for pinching me (:P) With each contraction I kept telling her to move her hands lower ... and lower ... and lower ... and I could hear Corey say that it's getting lower and then Eileen said something about bulging (shrug) and then I told them I had to push.

Now ... I'm not sure WHAT anybody was doing back there ... having coffee?? JK guys. But I remember feeling a burn. yikes and so I told them I needed counter pressure. This was not the same kind of pushing with Amelie, this was a pushing I could almost control, but it was a FULL force pushing. I told then I didn't want to rip. NO RIPS guys!!! Finally I just put my own dang hand down there and felt Will's head. After a quick assessment I decided I hadn't ripped yet and put my hand where I felt I need the most support. It was AWESOME! I also did NOT want to rip that way if I was going to rip LOL. It's my favorite part .... anyways ... with my hand there I managed to breathe through a push and with my hand there it was a nice warm feeling instead of burning like hell. I also wanted to get lower to the ground which made it difficult for the midwife to see ANYTHING, but she said nothing just got where she needed to be. I don't know how many pushes it took ... but it didn't take long for Will's head to be born. His shoulders ... well ... I said something along the lines of "Holy shit those are big shoulders" which made people laugh.

Then he was born and I turned my head to look behind me and I could see that it was indeed a boy. I of course knew all along because I have awesome instincts ... :P. I turned around and sat down and immediately had baby Will against my chest. awwwwwwwwwesome! A towel was placed over us and that was it. I was a tiny bit concerned of course because of the hooplah with Amelie's birth, but he was fine and I was fine and we were watched closely and he was checked while in my arms and given great apgars and I was fine and no cord was cut and that was that. Corey was thrilled and I'm sure he was on the phone minutes after Will was born.

We cut the cord about 15 minutes later, it had stopped pulsing anyways and there was no rush on anything. He wasn't even weighed until he was over an hour old and he weighed in at a shocking 8 lbs 8.5 ounces. I had no rips, no tears and I was fine and he was great!

37 weeks pregnant

A sexy mama!

36 weeks and 3 days pregnant

What? I am? Wow. Time flew all of a sudden, yet it is still dragging by. I had a prenatal today and thoroughly enjoyed doing my own tests (ie weight, urine test, GBS,) I could have measured my stomach too probably and I could have done my own blood pressure (it doesn't look hard) and I probably could have heard the baby's heartbeat myself too ... I'm just sayin' .... Well ... that being said here are my wonderful stats

Weight - NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS ... HAHAHA JK ... - 147 lbs. I think I look much more svelte than that ;-)
Fundal height - 36 cms
Baby heartrate - 120's
Urine test - Good ... yellow :-P (all you student midwives might get this teehee)
GBS - Don't know yet.
Blood Pressure - good as always DESPITE the lack of communication.

This appointment was filled with me being super mad though because of a lack of organizational skills by my prenatal caregivers. I may edit this post later to add more detail but you can sure email me if you really want to know :)

Let's see ... what else, oh yeah I decided I should probably tidy the nursery ... think about moving the computer to it's permanent place ... I said think about it .... make a list of things we need ... contemplate tidying the rest of the house. All in good time right? Hopefully baby doesn't come before our stuff is ready :)

Only a few weeks to go ....

With only a few weeks to go, I find myself getting into that mama bear mode. Seriously. I remember how I felt after Amélie was born and I remember being guilted into having visitors at the hospital. That won't happen. Sorry friends and family :(. I had spiraled into a post partum depression that left both Corey and I (and many of you guys I'm sure) exhausted and bitter. Regardless of how this birth goes, we hope to let all our family know very shortly after the birth (starting with the grandparents ... don't worry if you don't have facebook or Internet we will be calling you ;-). You won't miss out on the big news!! You can even post it on Facebook!! But please ... don't ask when you can visit. That will have to wait until we get home. Point Final. (that means there is no negotiating this ... fyi)

Now I know many people have offered to watch Amélie and that is very sweet and thoughtful, but we have someone lined up. Someone very close by that Amélie sees often and is as protective as I am (I am her daughter after all). Having Amelie far away from me is going to be hard regardless of what I'm doing and it'll help me relax if I know she's at home with a person she feels most comfortable with other than me and Corey. (I will blog about sleepovers on another post.) If for some reason we can't be home and mom needs to be away we know that all of you are willing and able, but remember ... we are looking for someone to stay at OUR house with her.

When we get home, depending on how things go etc ... etc ... depending on when baby Linfitt decides to be born (I say the 28th of April ... it's the full moon and the due date) but he/she could be late (I doubt early it IS a Linfitt baby) we will be planning Amélie's birthday. It will all depend on the the baby, but we will definitely have a birthday for her :)

To summarize, sit tight ... it's not your baby, it's not your birth, you have no say in the matter and what happens in those precious days after baby is born will affect us all forever. If I say no ... don't ask again I will probably snap ... don't try and convince me that something is best or that I will benefit from something that I don't want to do ... all you'll get is snapped at (possibly) and long term resentment if I don't feel emotionally strong enough to stand up for myself and you will probably get hurt feelings and then tension ... you know how this is going to end ;-). I don't think it's being a bitch to ask these extremely reasonable things. In some cultures a mother stays in her hut for nearly 6 weeks before anyone is allowed to see her. Cats are constantly moving their kittens when they get too many people in their faces touching their newborns. For all I know I will come home and be ready to meet the world! But let's play it like I am coming home a whole new person with a new addition to the family, a toddler and a probably very tired hubby. Seriously ... it's not like we're going to wait until the baby's 1st birthday before you even know it's born ... yeesh ... Christmas comes before that :-P

33 weeks pregnant!

Oh ... my bad ... look at the delay since my last post. I don't even have a good excuse. sigh.

Well, on the bright side, I feel lighter than my last pregnancy but I'm pretty sure my weight gain is around the same ... dang it haha. Baby is head down, placenta is fine ... turned out I didn't need the 2nd ultrasound after all! I now weight approx ... 138 lbs .... be jealous, very jealous ;-) I got an armful of maternity clothes from a friend of ours ... thank GOD because seriously ... I couldn't fit my butt in my pants anymore ... at least it's only for 7 more weeks :D. Baby's heart rate is great, baby moves lots ... I find the movements more defined into legs, arms and toes ... and a definite baby bum. I got a few stretch marks this time around, but strangely enough only on 1 side ... interesting ... very interesting ... I can't even see them so ... they don't count LOL. I can only see them in pictures. Speaking of pictures Corey and I recently updated the pregnancy pictures and decided that I have definitely gained in the belly area. I also got a haircut FYI.

The nursery isn't ready yet ... I don't feel the rush ... so definitely not nesting. I DID bring up the baby clothes and Corey moved the crib (and broke it I might add) so now I need to find a crib part (anyone got any spare parts haha) and a bassinet ... and a couple baby gates ... I've also decided it's time to put things on Amelie's walls and print some pictures up. See you soon Melissa!! lol.

Other than all that ... been feeling really good the last while, sometimes even forgetting I'm pregnant and able to move quite ably. Until I go to put shoes or boots on then it's a sharp reminder that I am pregnant :) Onward to pictures!!

33 weeks pregnant !!!

28 weeks ~ Baby # 2

Ah yes. Almost done. Super pumped. I know I'm a weird one that is looking forward to labor and delivery :) I can't wait to meet this little pun'kin. My next prenatal isn't until next week so I will update actual facts then, but for now some real life updates. I'm most definitely rounder .. in a rounder sort of way and this baby moves a lot more than Amelie did. I also had a little stretch where my symphasis pubis (look it up) was superbly sore and it still gets that way if I push myself too hard. Take it easy you say? Okay. I've eased up my work week so that I can use up my sick days (I think I have about 2 weeks left of days to use) and I'm only working until April 1st. Now lots of people ask why I don't work until the end and my response to that is ... why? For ... two-4 extra weeks ... I can have 2-4 extra weeks relaxing at home and getting prepared for baby instead and spending some time with Amélie and getting food frozen ... AND being able to sleep when I want to (mostly) Plus who finds it fun to go to work with a toddler to bring to a sitter and being huge. Not me. So ... no thanks.

In a couple weeks I also have another ultrasound ... sigh ... but a necessary one at that. (No I don't enjoy them) My placenta is lying quite low, near my cervix, therefore we need to make sure it's either stayed put ... or has moved up (which would be fantastic!) Once I get news about where that placenta is located I can relax. Baby being head down ... meh not worried about it. There are so many ways to influence a baby to turn around that it's not even on my mind. Well obviously it is because I'm thinking of ways ... but I believe baby is head down right now anyways. I'm just guessing by the harsh jabs to my ribs and the hiccups in my pelvis ... just sayin' ... probably.

I also wonder if this baby has more limbs than we previously counted because sometimes I wonder how it can POSSIBLY kick/punch in so many areas at the same time! Haha. I was suffering from restless legs for a while but after some gentle reminders (haha Eileen) that water was very important ... that seems to have settled for a bit. Now the battle is to find some clothes that fit. Luckily Gayle (who's losing weight) has sent me her clothes. LUCKILY because my maternity pants didn't fit anymore ... they were small anyways ... and that just means I have fabulous hips ;-)
28 weeks

28 weeks

Amélie update

Shame on me. I haven't updated about Amélie in a long while! She's going to be 21 months on friday. How time has flown by! I am finding this age and the past couple months some of the best :) I mean every age/phase has it's merits but this one is the least taxing on my brain haha. Now that her communication is much more developed it's easier to understand what she wants. Jus, downstairs, 'side, non, mom, (a nod), help me, hat, boot, bleu, mooo, pock pock, hiya (karate chop) dodo, bébé, Mémère and tante, tante gaye, and many others. That's just what she says she understands what I'm saying pretty good too. "Go bite dad" "Ferme la porte, brrrrr", do you want to ....? Those of you who've seen her lately know she sometimes likes to think about things before making a decision hmmmmm AHA!

A lot of people have also told us we should be preparing her for the new arrival ... but we have decided to let her prepare herself. She is sleeping in her crib without the side railing and with only a small bumper rail to keep her from falling out. She also has a pillow and will soon be transitioning into a temporary toddler bed until we find her a good twin bed. We tell her she's a big girl all the time and talk to her about her dolls a lot. Show her how to dress them, care for them. She doesn't get that there's a baby in my belly (I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm just eating too much haha) People always ask her what's in my belly and I'm not sure who gets annoyed the most ... me or her. We told her there's a baby in there so ... there's a baby in there. It's that simple, it's not complicated, it's not ... 3-d if you know what I mean. She doesn't imagine there is a baby in my belly it's just a fact and since she's not quite two she doesn't IMAGINE what it looks like.

She's also been loving some time with daddy! Every time the quad starts she runs to grab 1 mitten, and her rubber boots. And her hat of course because it's cold. What more could you need?? I do have pictures but she's usually naked in only her diaper and I try to keep those pics at a minimum on the internet. Ah yes ... her rubber boots ... and the age of Dora and Diego. I did try to avoid it ... but was unable too. Now I have a little girl who tells me to GO GO and that she needs her boots whenever she's going to do something. (Note to self) she needs new boots.

Now for some pics :)

Helping with dishes

Her "hat" while watching Dora

Her boots

Relaxing with Grandma Linfitt

Halloween 2009

Eating Jerky (well ... she did help make it ;-)

Reading during the roughrider game

Helping to make jerky mmmmmm