The blame game ...

In times of deep sorrow ... everyone blames God. Okay ... the Atheists don't ... and ... probably the Pope doesn't. I will admit, I've done my share of blaming too, but then something really big happened. Nothing. Nothing happened. I had 3 miscarriages in a row and told myself ... "God has a plan" Are you kidding me? Maybe he does ... or maybe I just had 3 miscarriages in a row. Period. No pun intended. Sometimes bad things happen ... because bad things happen.

When it comes to babies who die at birth, premature or otherwise, my heart breaks for those families anyways. It's not a rainbow of hope that God had a plan. That doesn't console most parents I would think. I'm willing to bet they are playing the blame game (again unless they are atheists who might still blame science.). I know some parents can be consoled by the thought that God simply meant for them to bless us with only a few minutes, or hours ... or just the pregnancy. I don't know. I'm not God. I'm on the fence.Not gonna lie ... it does console me sometimes.

On one side is believing in God. On the other, believing in Science. Right now I see some pretty big downers either way. On God's side ... then you have to wonder why he IS letting babies die. On the other, you have to wonder why some doctors are allowed to get away with what they do to laboring women who are at their most vulnerable times. Sounds like paperwork to me. In reality, I think bad things just happen. Every baby that dies has a different story of course. Maybe God knew there would be suffering and he decided that this little baby needed a soft place to land? My heart hurts just thinking of someone hurting my children, of losing them, or worse ... never having them :/.

I don't know what to say to those people. So I'm silent. I didn't experience it. I really hope to never have to. I'm sure they didn't wish it either. I sit in silence, thinking about them and their loss.  Next I'll check on both my kids, place my hand on their chests and feel their breathing (or listen to some snoring depending who's bed I'm at) and I'll watch them in the glow of the nightlight (aka internet router lights) and I'll be forever grateful for the blessings I've been bestowed ... whether it be by God, some guardian angels ... the craziest biological miracle fluke in the universe that allows sperm/egg to make a baby ... I'll thank them all.